Reason #562 why I hate working out

I ran into a tree today. It was clearly one of those fast moving trees that jumps out and scares you, but still.

Advertisements

How do you know when you have an unhealthy relationship with food?

When you go to get dressed for Thanksgiving and find out your fat jeans are in the laundry you think to yourself, “Damn, this is really going to ruin my overall Thanksgiving experience.”

Part II – How do you spot enablers in your addiction?

When you run downstairs to tell your husband what just happened and the conversation goes like this:

R: Did you take your pants out of the laundry?

Me: Eww. It’s dirty. I meant the dirty laundry.

R: I’m going to wear sweatpants. Seriously, you should reconsider.  I’m wearing sweatpants.

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!

Really?!! Now it’s not that I got an envelope filled with stamps that is causing my shock and dismay. Because if a friend or family member did this I would think it was funny and cute. In fact I’ve probably done something like this in the past thinking I was being funny.

No it’s who the letter was from that’s the problem. As in the Director of Human Resources from my old job letting me know about my cobra benefits.

I suppose this post may seem a bit extreme for those that have not had to spend countless hours listening to (and often laughing with me over) the ridiculous shenanigans of old job, but for those of you who have, (thank you! and) enjoy.

His Turducken consists of a chicken, inside of a duck, inside a turkey and back in the original chicken.

The most interesting man in the world.

Holy deja vu!

Last night my Dad called me to tell me that he had good seats at the Maui Invitational tonight and to watch out for him.  So tonight I sat glued to the tv trying to peer around the players to see the audience. I couldn’t tell you what was going on during the game, I was too busy trying to ferret out the blurry audience with thoughts like, not enough hair, he wouldn’t wear shorts that short (thank god), he wouldn’t wear a fanny pack (thank god), he wouldn’t wear a-long sleeved button down in Hawaii… I never found him but something seemed so familiar about this exercise and then I remembered.

My college roommate dated a guy on the UNC team.  He wasn’t that good so he usually just warmed the bench.  So she would sit, night after night, peering around the players on the court to see if she could spot her guy.  Every once in a while she’d call out, “I think I see him.”

I actually totally forgot about UNC guy until tonight, considering that the last time I heard from her it was in regards to her wedding this summer to not-UNC guy.  Cause UNC guy – kind of an ass.

Woohoo for me scoring points at new-new job today

Some guy I don’t know but probably should: We should all be very excited [new high up person in organization] will be spending a lot of time in the Stamford office in the upcoming month so everyone will get a chance to meet and interact with her. She’ll be coming the same week as our annual international food week.
Me: (whispering out loud to self like the crazy person I am) Yes!
My boss’s boss: (turns to me with big smile on his face) It is very exciting isn’t it? I’m looking forward to it too.
Umm… yeah, I was totally talking about there being an international food week…

Me… The absolute hater of anything green or remotely healthy. Even I draw the line at tomato paste being a vegetable. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?