Advice for the undecided college major

Ahh – I have such affinity for you! That was me.

Or, advice to the new-to-the work-force crowd. Let me lead you to mecca.

Do you want to go on crazy fun work trips (i.e. vacation) with one of those coveted expense accounts? Stay at the best hotels and not pay a dime? Despite the fact that it’s a recession, you can still do it (as long as you are good looking). And let me tell you how. Go into sales. And be good at it.

Do not go into accounting.

I repeat, do not go into accounting.

I’ll admit, in the hay day of accounting back in 2004 and 2005 (wow, that’s an even dorkier comment than my usual), we might have bought a seafood tower here or there and charged it, along with multiple bottles of wine, back to the company. But it was nothing like this. Free flowing wine. Dinners at the Ritz. AND, closing down Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventure early for an evening in order to let your people and their customers run wild through The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

And as for my “good looking” comment… Holy crap I haven’t felt this inadequate since I started at BC the year that Playboy named it as one of the most beautiful colleges… and they weren’t talking about the foliage. I’ve spent the last 9 years fighting against the stereotype of what an accountant looks like (boosted by the fact that I have gorgeous friends), but at this event, you could pick us out from the sales reps in a heart beat.

Dream Work Trip…. Dream Work Days…. Dream Work EVERYTHING

It’s been almost a week since I returned home and I still cannot believe how lucky I was to get chosen to go on a business trip last week…. or more like a “business” trip wink wink.

By way of a very boring background… my company uses a software tool for accounting purposes.The company that sells and maintains this tool had a conference that they invited their customers to last week. The conference discussed best accounting practices and maximizing our efficiencies. Doesn’t that sounded absolutely horrible? What sap was going to be sent to a boring three day conference to discuss accounting software tools? In the end, it looked like I drew the short straw… or so everyone thought.

Two weeks ago I was running a fever, feeling I was dying, and cursing Ryan and his pneumonia for bringing germs into my house, when my boss sent me an email: “It’s been decided, you are going to the ____ conference. Are you well enough to book travel?” Seriously boss?! Um NO! I’m dying. I cannot fly out to a conference in a couple days, be the spokesperson for my company and then fly home, all the time feeling like a sick dog. What are you thinking?! Oh, I see, you are not giving me a choice, okay then. Travel booked, doctor visited for antibiotics and on Sunday I was off to Orlando with not a friend in the world attending the conference I was at. So not cool.

And then I got to my hotel:

Are you seriously giving me a patio in a room bigger than the first apartment I ever shared with Ryan. NICE! It’ll make up for having no one to hang out with for three days and being forced to go to special networking events. And that’s a nice looking pool but I’ll never have time for it.

Except this turned out to be the special networking event:

The conference had the ENTIRE park closed early and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter was opened JUST FOR US for 3 hours. No lines and FREE butterbeer and alcohol and food. I’m still pinching myself that it happened. On the bus ride over everyone was saying they were going to buy a wand for their kids. Fortunately I did not need to spend my time shopping as I already bought a wand for myself several years earlier so I was all about the rides. And the butterbeer.

And as for friends… well give me Harry Potter Land and I don’t need friends but turns out there were people from our vendor whose sole job for three days were to keep me entertained with dinners at restaurants, one of which was at a table NEXT TO PAUL McCARTNEY (I almost got kicked out for trying to take a picture of him), and drinking games. Hello instant friends!

Oh and claim to fame: I won several drinking games including 1 truth and 1 lie (where you tell one truth and one lie and everyone else has to guess which one is true). I said that I either 1) am the reigning champion of a keg stand out of my group of friends in college or 2) during my senior year in college I ran naked around the lower campus dorms in the snow.* I also won another game we played, who has the most embarrassing song on their iPhone. My winning song? Lindsay Lohan’s Confessions of a Broken Heart (I love it!).

Okay, so in every sense of the word – the most amazing work trip ever. But I still wasn’t get to use that hotel pool. Except that we got out early on our last day so I had nothing to do but find a location to finish up working before my flight.

I can’t wait for next year! Except that I bragged about my trip to too many people and now everyone is clammering to take my place next year, including my boss. NOOOOOOO!

*In case you were wondering, I’ve never done a keg stand.

My friend just taught me how to tag a person in Instagram pics and I was so excited to try it out on all my old pics… until I realized that I still only take pictures of my cats, food, and myself.

My friend just taught me how to tag a person in Instagram pics and I was so excited to try it out on all my old pics… until I realized that I still only take pictures of my cats, food, and myself.

I’m Back!

Phew! The quarter from hell officially ended a couple weeks ago and since then I’ve just been trying to get my life back together with frivolous things like doing laundry, sleeping, and showering*.

*Not even a joke. I seriously need to learn to control what I say as evidenced by a conversation between me and a colleague that spent the past quarter in India, leaving the best times for us to call each other to discuss the exciting world of accounting to be when he got into work (about 11 PM my time) and then again when I would get into work in the morning (about 4:30 AM my time).

Him: I don’t even know how you are pulling these hours. God, you must just go home, sleep and shower and come back and do it again.

Me: Oh, I don’t shower – that would cut into my sleep.

Him: Oh….. (crickets)

Lovely friend K – also in India at the time: Hey Sonja…. by the way you are on speakerphone.

But I’m getting so very off track from the point of the most boring post ever which is to catch you up on the completely non-exciting life I’ve led since I went AWOL a month ago, so here we go:

  • – Planned a trip to Vegas and Disneyland to see the in-laws and the mouse next month. My plans mostly surround eating. Stay tuned.
  • – Feel like I’m in a long-distance relationship since as soon as my work hours lessened to the point where I actually saw Ryan awake he got sick and moved into the guest bedroom in order to not get me sick…. which I thought was a little extreme until we ended up at the urgent care center last weekend and found out that he has pneumonia.
  • – Yes, pneumonia.
  • – And now I’m sick. Not pneumonia sick. Just annoying sick. Damn you cold!
  • – Became the proud owner of the most wonderful Maxi dress, thanks to Stitch Fix. I had never found a maxi dress that didn’t make me look fat and actually covered my ankles. Win!
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(Photo courtesy of http://www.marisavhp.com/ because my own dress is lying on a heap on the floor somewhere)

  • – Ordered a 3 week food delivery program with Zone Manhattan despite reading horrendous reviews. Realized the reviews were right less than an hour into the program on Day 1. Quit by Day 2. Worst company ever.
  • – Went to a bachelorette party that started with cooking lessons at Sur La Table. The class was wonderful (and BYOB!) but taught us how to make both pasta and chocolate pudding from scratch. Um… why?! That’s what barilla (or at the very least a farmer’s market) and jello puddings are for.
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  • – Ended the bachelorette party at a burlesque show where I realized that I literally FELL ASLEEP while standing at a table because when I reopened my eyes there would be a different girl’s naked boobs dancing in front of me. Lesson: I am old.
  • – Celebrated my good friend’s big 3-0 with yummy Mexican food and delicious drinks in West Hartford. It’s a super adorable town. Also, continued to eat Mexican food for the next three days.
  • – Said newly 3-0 friend can no longer access my blog from her work any more because it comes up as a porn site. Monetize time?
  • – Got tickets through Ryan’s work to attend w!se Chef’s Night, a fantastic event that benefited “financial literacy for underprivileged children” with casino games, silent auctions, live auctions and FOOD from all over. The food was amazing. And the alcohol was free and free-flowing.
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  • – Last November, after being depressed over always being around so much negativity when I’d go out, I ended the relationships that caused that. Not with a big dramatic exit, but by coming up with excuses of why I could never meet up. Fast forward six months and I figured I was being too harsh and accepted the next happy hour invitation that came along. Worst decision ever! Turns out my first instincts were MUCH better. It took me two days to get out of the depressing slump that one night put me into. NO. THANK YOU.
  • – That bachelorette party I mentioned earlier… the wedding is tomorrow afternoon. I don’t have a dress. Or anything resembling wedding attire that 1) fits and 2) is clean. So my alarm will be going off early tomorrow so I can drag my butt around town to find a dress… and shoes… and accessories… oh good lord.
  • – Speaking of clothes, you know what’s awesome? Loving your husband’s sweatpants so much you buy one for yourself. What’s less awesome than that? Not paying attention to what Ryan is wearing and leaving the house looking like cheesetastic twins.
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  • – So why did I kill myself with crazy hours to the point of making myself sick? Because at the end of it all I was rewarded with a new job that I was after. It’s more work and more stress for…. the same title and same salary.
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  • – But at least my children are still the cutest! And do yoga!
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